


Mending

by Ryolie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Doctor/Patient, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Psychiatrist Ben/Kylo, Slow Burn, Star Wars AU - Modern Reylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryolie/pseuds/Ryolie
Summary: “I asked you for years to get help, go to therapy, come to couples counseling with me. I asked you to just do anything that showed you cared, but you continued to be an emotional vampire.”Following the end of her ten year relationship, Rey finally decides to give into her ex's wishes and go to therapy. She doesn't think she's depressed, but she's desperate enough to humor him in an effort to win him back. Enter Dr. Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_Just get up._

Rey stares unwaveringly at her ceiling. She doesn’t want to look at the clock because she knows it is going to read later than she wants it to. She knows that she has been lying in bed far too long, knows that most of her morning has probably been wasted. Yet she doesn’t even have the privilege of saying it was wasted from sleep, just an inability to stand up. 

And that thought hits her with a heavy wave of something. Something she can't identify. Something that makes it hard to breathe. 

If she’s being honest, she’s not even sure why she’s upset at her wasted morning. It’s not like she has anything planned to do- just another day lounging around the house. Her skin is itching, though, threatening to crawl off of her body and out of the house on their own accord if she doesn’t do something besides be a useless cretin. 

She wants to go out and find something fun to do. She wants to do the dishes spilling over in her sink. She wants to rewash the laundry that sits in her washing machine that she never transferred into the dryer, because she didn’t have the energy to, so instead it remains and festers in that mildewing scent. 

It’s a scent that she is ashamed to admit she has become increasingly familiar with. 

Her phone beeps beside her. Without looking at it, she’s almost positive that it’s Rose. Who else would it be? She doesn’t look at it immediately, assuming that Rose is likely asking her out tonight. She has taken to doing that almost weekly since the split. Rey feels bad for always declining, both because Rose is her friend, and because Rey can’t explain the dichotomy of wanting to go out, but just not being able to force herself to do it. 

Rey knows that if she takes too long to respond, Rose would just call her, and she’s not in the mood for phone conversations. She also knew that if she didn’t answer the phone call, Rose would then show up on her doorstep. “I just want to make sure you’re not hanging from the ceiling fan,” she had joked before. 

Personally, Rey didn’t find it funny. 

But the text message she opened was even less funny. 

_Can you believe this fucking asshole? I thought you guys were just on a “break”?_

Attached to the text was a screenshot photo of Poe with a beautiful blonde, arm draped across her lower back, pulling her in close as they chatted at some party. 

She feels hurts. 

And betrayed. 

And fucking furious. 

Her fingers are dialing him before she even has time to process. For a moment, she thinks he might not answer. It is a Friday night after all. Perhaps he’s with the blonde again. Just as she is about to hang up, she hears his voice on the other end of the phone, “Hello?” 

Tears spring to her eyes. She doesn’t trust herself to speak, fearing her voice might break. 

“Rey, are you there?” 

She clears her throat, her anger having dissipated and replaced with cowardice, “Uh, yeah, I’m here. I just... wanted to see how you were doing.” All of those years together and here she was talking to him like a stranger. 

He pauses for a moment and she is sure that he doesn’t believe her, but he humors her anyway, “Yeah, good, I’m well. How about yourself?” 

“Also well,” she shoots back quickly, “just doing some errands around the house, being productive.” 

The silence is unbearable and lasts far too long. Finally, he sighs, “Rey, what are we doing?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m having a hard time believing you called me just to see how I was doing.” 

She isn’t sure why she does it, but she defaults into defensive anger, “I mean, we were together for 10 years and we are supposedly just on a break, so I don’t see why you think it’s so unbelievable for me to check up on you. Unlike you, I actually care about how you’re doing.” 

He releases a derisive snort, “Ah, there it is. You don’t actually care about how I’m doing; you’re just checking up on me to see if I have changed my mind and make me feel guilty for not reaching out first.” 

“Wow, how arrogant? Because I have nothing better to do than sit around and just wait for you to take me back?” Technically she hasn’t been doing much besides going to work and lying in bed, but that’s not specific to the break. There were plenty days when she did that even before the split. 

“Well good, because we are done!” All of the anger drains from her and she can do nothing except sit in silence. She imagines a look a guilt crosses his face, perhaps wishful thinking, but he sighs nonetheless, “Shit, Rey, I... look, that came out wrong. I have been meaning to call you, but I couldn’t think of the words to say and I’ve replayed this conversation over a million times in my head.” 

“How to say that our break is transitioning into a breakup?” To her credit, Rey’s voice doesn’t crack, it stays even and monotonous. 

“I met someone, and maybe it’s just puppy love or the newness of it all, but she makes me happy.” _Ergo, you do not._ “I love you, and I think a piece of me will always love you, but we aren’t good for each other anymore.” 

“You’re still good for me.” It’s pathetic and she wishes it didn’t slip out. 

“Am I good for you because you love me or because you depend on me?” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” The anger starts to creep back in. 

“Rey, if you’re being honest with yourself, do you genuinely love me? Or do you just love that I’m some emotional security blanket you can depend on?” 

“How could you even ask me that?” 

“Why can’t you just answer the question?” He raises his voice in desperation. “I asked you for years to get help, go to therapy, come to couples counseling with me. I asked you to just do anything that showed you cared, but you just continued to be an emotional vampire.” 

“Emotional vampire?” Her voice practically screeches. “Because you were always trying to change me and I didn’t do exactly as you asked, I’m a fucking emotional vampire?” 

“Change you?” He scoffs, “Trying to change you would be me asking you to gets your tits done or dye your hair, not me trying to make you a functioning member of fucking society. Do you think it’s normal to sit around all day and do nothing? Do you think it’s okay that something that was supposed to be a 50/50 relationship ended up being 90/10 because I had to pick up the slack when you refused to do anything?” 

“Wow, I’m sorry I was such a burden to you.” 

“See! You just twist shit and make yourself out to be the victim. I’m not in the wrong because I don’t want have to carry your weight all of the time. And don’t even get me started on the mood swings. For as much shit as I did for you, the only words out of your mouth should have been please and thank you.” 

“Sorry your highness, I wasn’t aware I should have groveled at your feet anytime you cooked dinner that you also ate or cleaned the apartment that you also lived in, even if you half assed it!” 

He pauses for a moment, and sighs, “Look, I’m not doing this anymore, Rey. I wish you the best in life, but I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.” 

She doesn’t get the chance to respond before he hangs up. Instead, she responds to Rose. 

_You’re right; he is an asshole. Want to get drinks?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“ So it’s official then?” Is all Rose says after Rey finishes telling her about what  transpired between her and Poe. “It’s over just like that? Ten years gone just like that?”

Rey takes a long sip of her drink, “Yep, ten years gone, because he met someone else.” 

“Someone who makes him happy?” As Rose repeats Poe’s earlier words, Rey realizes they  haven't lost their sting. “What an idiot. Of course, she makes him happy, it’s a new relationship. Everyone is on their best behavior and everything is so new and exciting. Just give it six months,” Rose rolls her eyes.

Rey brushes her finger against her glass, wiping away the condensation. She hadn’t told Rose about the part of him requesting she go to therapy. She isn’t sure why. She isn’t sure of a lot of things these days.

“ So when he comes back groveling and begging for your forgiveness, are you going to take him back?” Rey snorts, knowing that probably won't happen. Rose continues, “I just need to know so I can talk the appropriate level of shit about him. Can’t trash him too much if you’re going to get back together and then I have to sit across him awkwardly at the dinner table in a few months.”

“Talk as much trash as you want,” Rey laughs. “I don’t see a reunion on our front anytime soon.”

“Anytime soon?” Rose carries on, “That implies a reunion at some point, though.”

“Just me being stupidly optimistic. It hurts too much to think or say the truth.”

" You were together for ten years and he was your first and only boyfriend. I would say that hurt is an  understatement ; it’s fucking brutal.”

Rey realizes she has finished her drink and sees this as her opportunity to change the subject. “Looks like I’m in need of a refill. Do you need anything while I’m going?”

“Just grab us some shots- your choice. Preferably something strong for your sake.”

Typically, Rey didn’t like shots, but the haze enveloping her mind right now was nice. It couldn’t hurt to provide a little fuel, make it last a little longer, be a little stronger. But because Rey didn’t like shots or drink them often, it also meant she was unfamiliar with many options. When the bartender asked her what she wanted, she blanked.

“Tequila,” she blurted after a moment, not wanting to waste their time. The bar was quite busy and surrounded. She didn’t want to occupy more time than necessary. “Two tequila shots and another vodka tonic, please.”

And because Rose left her in charge of ordering the shots for the rest of the night, Rey kept ordering tequila.

By the time they leave the bar, Rey is having a hard time standing up. She can’t seem to focus on anything except not falling, so Rose uses her phone to call her an Uber. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Uh huh,” Rey slurs as plops in the backseat of her ride. She wishes Rose had ridden with her, because now she is all alone, and left to sift through her thoughts again.

Ten years down the drain. Now Rey was twenty-five and single. Realistically, in the back of her mind, she knew it wasn’t the end of the world. She was still young, but this was the man she thought she was going to marry and start a family with. This was the man that her life had been intricately intwined with since she was fifteen. They had grown up together.

And unfortunately grown apart as well.

_I asked you for years to get help._

It was true. Poe had asked her for years to go to therapy, but it was usually yelled at her during an argument, so she never took it seriously. He wasn’t perfect, either, so it didn’t seem fair that all of the blame be placed on her.

But did he really feel like she was a parasite in their relationship, leaving him to do most of the work?

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just the fact that there was no avoiding it anymore, but Rey started reflecting upon the length of their relationship. She did plenty of cooking and cleaning. She also paid her half of the monthly bills- always, unlike Poe who sometimes didn’t budget appropriately and she needed to cover him.

But were there days when she just felt like sleeping all day. Or if she couldn’t sleep, lay in bed all day.

It’s not like Poe always did the tasks she failed to do.

Sometimes he would, though, but she never asked him to. Especially not since it usually resulted in an argument. Plus, it’s not like she wasn’t going to do it. She always planned to do it when she felt better, but sometimes that wasn’t good or quick enough.

_ Lazy. _

_ Frustrating. _

_ Useless _ _. _

Those were the common insults hurled at her. She heard them so often she expected it. Heard it so often that she ignored it.

But why?

Maybe she should have listened. Maybe then she wouldn’t be sitting here as a single twenty-five-year-old. Maybe then the  past ten years of her life wouldn’t have been a waste.

If she didn’t have Poe, what did she have? She felt like she had molded her life around him. They lived in a city that was convenient for his job.  _ Oh, you’re a teacher, you can get a job anywhere.  _ They lived in an apartment that he chose.  _ Oh, getting a second story apartment is ridiculous. I have to carry all of the furniture up; the ground floor will do.  _ Hell, she even chose a career that he pushed her towards.  _ Babe, if you get a degree in teaching, you could stay home and homeschool our kids since you’re familiar with that stuff. _

The thought of starting over filled her with dread. She couldn’t do it. She needed to win him back.

So, she pulled out her phone and typed-  _ therapists near me _ .


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter! But on the plus side, next chapter our two favorites meet :)

**Chapter 3**

Monday morning begins like any other Monday morning. Rey has to tell Tyler to sit down three times during first period. She spends her second period watching Miranda attempt to sneakily text during class before finally telling her to shut her phone off. She grows frustrated during third period when she catches Doug trying to cheat for the third time this semester.

Yes, Monday is as uneventful as any other day.

Until she gets a call during her free period.

" Hello, this is  Kaydel calling from Dr. Ren’s office to confirm a 4:30 appointment this afternoon for Rey. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact us.”

Not having recognized the number, Rey allowed it to go to voicemail, but quickly calls back. 

“Hello, this is the office of Dr. Ren,  Kaydel speaking. How may I assist you?”

Rey clears her throat, “Hi, yes, this is Rey returning a call about a 4:30 appointment this afternoon.”

Kaydel seems to instantly recognize her, “Ah, yes, thanks for calling to confirm your online appointment.”

“Well, uh, actually,” Rey hedges, “I think there’s been a mistake. I don’t recall having made any appointment...”

There’s a pause on the other end of the phone and Rey can hear typing. After a few moments,  Kaydel speaks again, “I see that on Saturday at 1:35 in the morning you reserved a session for this afternoon. You paid with a Visa ending in 9124.”

Rey mutes her phone. “Fuck,” she groans, then unmutes it, “Well, that is indeed my credit card, but I’m going to have to unfortunately cancel the appointment.”

“Well, I can put you down as a cancel, but because it is less than a 24-hour notice, you won’t receive a refund for the session.”

Rey quickly logs into her bank account and sees exactly how much a session with Dr. Ren costs. She mutes her phone again, “Fuck.” Things were tight financially even before when she was living with and splitting costs with Poe. But now that she was living alone? It would be irresponsible to let such an amount go to waste.

Plus, perhaps it could be an investment. Poe did want her to go to therapy- even stated that was part of the reason he was leaving. If he saw that she was making an effort, perhaps they could reconcile. They would move back in together and pick up where they left off, including splitting the bills.

Rey sighs, “Well in that case, I suppose I will keep the appointment.”

“Great, we will see you this afternoon.”

After she hangs up, Rey quickly googles the office of Dr. Ren. She quickly realizes why his office was recommended to her because of its close proximity to her apartment. Definitely convenient, but that is about all the office had going for it.

It was a fairly new practice, having opened merely a month ago. That probably explained why the website was so bare bones. Even Dr. Ren’s info tab was miniscule. She simply knew he was a graduate of Stanford University and had practiced in California for two years before relocating to the east coast.

He didn’t even have a picture up.

If Rey had been sober, there was no way she would have picked this office. In fact, if she hadn’t just spoken to the receptionist, she would have thought the site was a scam. Hell, a part of her was still  suspicious that it was a scam.

What had she gotten herself into?


End file.
